37
by begfortherestofmy-life
Summary: All it took was 2 Juniors to take their lives for everyone to realise how bad everything really was. And that's when Maya Matlin realised she needed to grow up and become the stable rock she couldn't be for Tori. Rated M due to character death and sucidal themes.


**A/N: **Okay..so I was in the mood for tragic Degrassi stuff, and thought someone may have written something for Zori..but I was gutted to see it wasn't true /3 So, There is an incredibly heavy trigger warning on this oneshot, and if you ever feel as though you're at a point like this in your life, please, I beg of you. Talk to someone. Suicide is never the way out. Never. I hope you enjoy this one shot, and I apologise if you go through an entire tissue box like my friend told me she had ._. I never realised how sad it really was. Okay, I should stop rambling. But, here we go.

* * *

She sits on the ledge, watching her wrist with the utmost curiosity. The dark crimson sliding down it landing with a drip on her denim clad thighs. If only he hadn't touched her, if only there wasn't a single mention of anything that happened in her freshman year.

She wanted to do it at her house, just one night, pressing a gun to her temple and pulling the trigger, killing her quickly, but that was just too easy for Victoria Santamaria. She hadn't talked herself out of anything like this so much just to die unseen. She kicked her legs back and forth, her feet bare as her converse sat on the ledge right beside her. She looked at her wrist again, noticing it wasn't bleeding as bad as it had when she first made the incision 20 minutes ago.

It was 37 minutes ago, Tori saw them together. Saw her grab his shirt and crash her lips into his and snake her cheating little hands around his neck. 37 minutes ago Tori clapped her shaking hand over her mouth and felt hot, angry tears well in her eyes. 36 minutes ago she ran. She ran from that room and she ran to some place else. Some place where nobody would really get to her. The rooftop of Degrassi. The school where hell opened up the moment she walked through the doors. But it really was 20 minutes ago, she took the back off her cellphone, dropped the silver blade into the palm of her hand and grazed her thumb over the sharp tip, drawing blood from the digit as easy as the snap of a finger. The moment she made the lengthy incision on her wrist, she knew exactly what she was doing. She was going to do it. She wasn't going to put up with anymore shit from anyone. This was the very last time she would ever be hurt. Ever.

His eyes were angry. Really angry. She had done it again. Why couldn't she understand? He didn't want her. He wanted Tori. He always wanted Tori. She was the one he shared really amazing, special moments with. She was the one he wanted to be with forever, considering they were each other's first kiss, first relationship, first.. everything. "Why did you do that?!" he snapped, glaring at the girl. "I-I'm sorry.. I just thou-" she tried, Zig raised his hand. "No. I'm sick of this. Not only are you getting me into shit, you're fucking hurting Campbell too." he said, backing away from her. "But I don't want Campbell.. I want you. I've always wanted you. It's always been you. And I'm sure it's the same for you too!" Maya yelled, never looking away from Zig. "You're delusional" he murmured. "You're fucking delusional!" he shouted, just as Tristan ran in the room. "Zig.. you gotta see this.." he said. Zig frowned, looking at the guy he had grown to become best friends with. "See what?" he said, confused. Tristan shook his head and ran in, grabbed Zig's wrist and pulled him away.

"Better or worse but what else can we do?" Tori sung, her voice raw and shaky. "Better or worse I am tethered to you" She looked down at the gatheing crowd. She laughed a little as a few people looked absolutely horrified. "If it's not either of us tell me who.. are we fooling?" she sung softly, her voice still raw. "Tori!" she heard someone shout her name. "What are you doing?!" She shrugged at the question, giving the boy a wave before flipping him off.

"What are you doing?!" Zig shouted up at the girl, his mind flipping out everywhere. He saw the small finger wave she gave before flipping him off. "Come on Tor! What are you doing up there!?" he tried again. "You have to go get her!" Tristan yelled, pushing Zig. This definetly was not how Grade 11 was supposed to go. Without second thought, Zig ran back into the building and ran around trying to find the door Tori used to get to where she was now. He ran past a janitor and ran straight back. "Sir.. how do I get to the roof?" he asked, panicked. The janitor raised a brown in curiosity before pointing to a door at the end of the hall. "Thank you.. holy shit" he said, sprinting off.

Tori chewed on her bottom lip as she peered over the edge further, more people had come outside. /perfect/ she thought to herself. She really was going to go out the dramatic way. And there was no way anyone would stop her, because even if they did, she had a backup plan. Tori patted the lump on her demin shorts and grinned. She could see a lot of her friends.

Tristan, Oh Tristan. Her dear friend since.. forever. They shared everything together, every secret. Tori was the first person to find out about Tristan's sexuality, Tristan was the first person to find out about Tori's huge crush on Zig. To wrap their friendship up in a nutshell, They were best friends. Nothing broke their friendship, nothing ever. Not even that time Tristan called her a stupid slut when he found her scars. He was the bestest friend Tori could have ever asked for.

Tori could see the light hair of Becky Baker, a girl who couldn't have been a more amazing person to Tori. Becky was there when she first found out about Zig's kiss with Maya and Becky comforted her. Becky was there ever since. Always checking up on Tori, feeling disappointed when Tori forgave him and welcomed him back with open arms. Becky was like a stable rock that Tori could rely on.. but not quite the stable rock she could open up completely to.

Zig rushed up a staircase and burst through the door. "Tori. What are you doing!?" he shouted, making the girl jump a little. "Shit.. Zig.." she murmured, not bothering to look at him. "Answer my question Tor." he repeated, catching his breath. "Oh nothing, what were you doing kissing Maya? Again" she said, her voice cold and angry. "You saw that?" Zig asked, a little caught off guard. "Yup." she replied, bringing her legs away from the ledge as she hoisted herself up. "She.. kissed me. I don't want her.. She thinks I do.. I don't. I want you, I love you" he said quickly, trying anything that'd make her come down. And it must've been working, she had gotten up and looked like she was going to come down. Zig watched as Tori spun around, her dark curls flying around behind her. "Hey.. do you remember that one year when we snuck up here during class and just.. talked. And talked. And talked? And then..you asked me?" Tori asked, hiding her wrist from Zig. "Yeah.. of course I do. It was the last day of Sophmore year."Zig said, remembering the moment.

"Okay. Truth or Dare." Tori said, looking to Zig as she smoothed her thumb over his rough hand. "Truth.." Zig said, looking at Tori. "Did you like it?" she asked, referring to the Tuesday night she and Zig first slept together. "I loved it.. and I love you" he said, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. Tori brought her free hand up to cup his face and smiled into the kiss. "I love you too" she whispered, resting her forehead against his. "Then marry me." he said, with the utmost seriousness. "What?" she said, giggling. "Marry me." he repeated, shrugging. Tori sat up, looking at Zig like he was crazy. "Marry you?" she asked, as he sat up beside her. "We've been together 3 years Tori.." he said, looking back at her. "Off and on.." she added. Zig shrugged. "Does that matter?" he asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring. "No way.. you are serious.." she said, clapping her hand over her mouth. "Now I'm not saying we do this like.. this year or senior year. I'm saying we do this once we're out of school.." he said, holding the ring out to her. "Oh my gosh.." she said, staring at it. "Tori.. please.. please.. please.. Promise you'll marry me" he begged as Tori giggled, completely giddy. She nodded, leaning over and crashing her lips into his. "I freaking love you Zig Novak" she said as he managed to slip the ring on her finger.

Tori brought her hand up to the chain that held the same ring. "Yeah. Remember this?" she said, tugging at the chain, the thin chain breaking away from her neck. She held it out in front of her, the ring swinging back and forth in front of them. Zig frowned. "What's this got to do with anything?" he asked her. "I loved you" she started. "I always have. I always will." she said, clutching the necklace. "Tori.." Zig started, walking toward the girl. "Screw you Novak" she said, stepping back a little, hearing a few screams sound. "You can go to hell, and maybe I'll see you there" she said, taking another step back. "Tori .. don't do this" he said. Tori shrugged. "Adios, Zig Novak." He frowned before Tori took a quick jump, disappearing from the ledge. "Tori.. No!" he shouted, turning and running back through the door. He had to get to her, he had to get to her before she could really be dead.

Screams rang out as Tori Santamaria's petite frame came in hard contact with the concrete, the sound of breaking bones causing Campbell Saunders to double over and vomit up his newly eaten lunch.

"Tori!" everyone heard Zig shout as he came outside. He saw a few people screaming and crying and realised he was too late. He looked at the ground, seeing the concrete splattered with blood, her body distorted in all kinds of ways. His body was overwhelmed with shock as he stumbled toward the body and collapsed beside it, his hands shaking as he tried to place them over her bloody body. "What the fuck" he murmured, his breath hitching. His hands gripped her fractured shoulders and pulled her up to his chest, his arms wrapping around her and becoming soaked with the blood seeping from god knows where. He broke down into sobs, sobs that anyone could tell were heartbroken and completely shocked.

Rushing out of the school, Mr. Simpson scanned the crowd of students, finding each and everyone of them staring at the same place. He turned to find Zig's shaking body clutching onto something. He headed toward the younger boy to find what he was clutching. The sight of a distorted body of a young girl made Archie sick to his stomach. He moved closer and saw the messy curls that belonged to a favoured student of his. He had no idea what to do or say but to try and move Zig away. He crouched down next to the boy and tried to pull his arms away from Tori's body, without any luck. "Zig.. come on buddy.. you have to let go.." he said, trying to pull Zig off. "No.. no.." Zig murmured, clutching tighter to Tori. As he clutched tighter, he could feel something press against his leg. Zig looked down to see a black hand gun sticking out of Tori's denim shorts. He scoffed at the sight and gingerly moved one of his arms to take hold of the hand gun as he slowly slid it away from her shorts. "Zig.. can you hand me the gun?" Mr. Simpson asked, holding his hand out. "What is he doing?" Campbell whispered to Tristan, wiping the corner of his mouth. "I don't know.." was the reply he got as Tristan was still getting over the fact that his best friend had just killed herself.

"Zig.. I need to to give me the gun.." Mr. Simpson repeated. Zig just shook his head as he held the gun in his hand. "I'm sorry Mr. Simpson.." he murmured, as he slowly rose the gun to his mouth. "Zig.. no let's not do this today.." Mr. Simpson said. "I know you're going through something tough right now" Zig laughed. "This is more than tough.. I love her.." he said, knowing what he wanted to do. "I know.. but you need to give me the gun" Mr. Simpson said, slowly reaching for the gun. "Thanks Mr. Simpson" Zig murmured before putting the gun in his mouth and quickly pulling the trigger. A loud shot rang out as Mr. Simpson jumped back in horror as Zig's now lifeless body collapsed upon Tori's, more screams sounding while Campbell lost more of his lunch, this time, Tristan joined him. Becky's eyes widen as she fell to the ground unconcious, witnessing the two suicides making her feel completely woozy.  
And that was they day Degrassi changed.. forever. All it took was two quiet Juniors to kill themselves for everyone to realise how bad everything really was.

The day after the funeral held for both Tori & Zig, noone turned up at school. Not even Mr. Simpson. Degrassi community school was at a complete standstill, the only sound being the sound of splashing water against the pavement as the janitor tried once more to clean the dried blood off the sidewalk.

~Fin~

Epilouge:  
And that was the day Maya Matlin realised what she had done. She had hurt Tori.. really bad. And led her to this end. Maya had really fucked up a lot and was shocked as the memorial assembly was announced for both Zig & Tori. She ruined a relationship, she ruined a beautiful, loving relationship.. not to mention her own. She ran her hand through her messy hair and looked around the classroom for homeroom Noone looked great at all, considering every body in the class had seen the horror that unfolded 2 weeks ago. Becky Baker had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tristan Milligan wasn't the same Tristan everyone had fallen in love with and Campbell Saunders had stopped eating completely, because the moment he looked at the make-shift memorial outside the school, He'd lose whatever was in his stomach at the time. Maya, however had really been struck hard. Despite being apart of the reason for the entire drama, she really just wasn't who she was anymore. She started staying home more, missing days of school because she just couldn't face anything. She refused to take part in anythig with WhisperHug, not even the tribute song Imogen had written for Tori & Zig. She just withdrew from everything altogether. People were scared she would try the same thing, but she reassured them that there was no way in hell that she would do that to herself. "I'm not going to kill myself. Please just stop asking.." she repeated over and over everytime Becky, Campbell, Mr. Simpson and Tristan bugged her about how she was, if she wanted to hang out with them. She just wanted everyone to leave her alone. She needed to face this world and not run away. Maya Matlin was going to be strong through it all. Even if it meant she had to be under suicide watch 24/7. She sighed, looking up at the chalk board as she scribbled down the notes for their mock exams. There was no way Maya Matlin was going to allow a dark, dark world to over take her. She had to be strong for her friends. She had to be the rock that she couldn't be for Tori when it all first started. She had to become a new Maya Matlin.

-Fin Fin-


End file.
